Tracy said, "This was one of Scott's
favorite pictures. He said he felt
"on the edge" and she wishes now
she had heard that
as his cry for help.
By: Renie T. Lugero
You've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out. Fine - but before you
kill yourself, there are some things you should know. I am a psychiatric nurse, and I see the results of suicide - when it
works, and more often, when it doesn't. Consider, before you act, these facts:
Suicide is usually not successful. You
think you know a way to guarantee it? Ask the 25-year old who tried to electrocute himself. He lives. But both his arms are
gone. What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leaped
from a building. Now he is brain damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But worst
of all, he knows he used to be normal.
Even less violent methods can leave you crippled. What about pills? Ask the
12-year old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver-damage? It takes a while.
You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.
No method is foolproof. What about a gun? Ask the 24-year old who shot himself
in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm, and no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof"
suicide. You might too.
Suicide is not glamorous. You may picture a movie star in a slinky negligee drifting off to
eternal sleep from an overdose of pills. But your picture omits a likely sickening reality: as she dies, her sphincter muscles
relax, and that beautiful gown is soiled with her excrement.
Who will clean your blood off the carpet, or scrape your
brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning crews may refuse that job - but someone has to do it. Who will have to cut you
down from where you hung yourself, or you've drowned? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?
The carefully worded "loving"
suicide note is no help. Those who loved you will never completely recover. They'll feel regret, and an unending pain. And
rage, because at that moment, you cared only about yourself.
Suicide is contagious. Look around at your family: sons,
daughters, brothers, sisters, husband, wife. Look closely at the four-year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself
tonight, and he may do it in ten years. It's a fact that suicide often follows suicide in families, and kids are especially
vulnerable.
You do have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline, a friend, your
minister, or priest. They will tell you that there is hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call
this weekend. Or when you meet someone shopping. You don't know – no one does. But what you are seeking could just be
a minute, a day or a month away.
You say you don't want to be stopped?
Still want to do it?
Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later.
And we'll work with whatever you have left.
|
